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Christina Glauner and Edie Jackson Edie and I met in college and have been good friends for 13 years. We are native Kansans and both graduates of the University of Kansas; Edie graduated with a BFA in Sculpture and I have a BFA in Theatre Design. This is the first competition on water for both of us. We started kayaking and canoeing about 5 years ago on the Kaw primarily as a way to explore a new body of water for fossil and artifact hunting as well as to experience the wildlife. Since then we have come to incorporate our river trips into our art and greatly enjoy photography on the river. Camping on a sandbar under the stars, eating cheesy brats by a fire, star gazing and listening to the Barred Owl ("Who cooks for you?") is our ideal way to wrap up a day of great paddling!  Christina Glauner and Edie Jackson Missouri River 340 Journal by Christina Glauner of The Return 8/02/06 Day 1 of the race started at 7:15 a.m. at Kaw Point. Kaw Point is where the Kansas River (Kaw) dumps into the Missouri River at mile mark 368. Edie and I checked in, checked over the required gear and picked up a bunch of donated PowerBars. A reporter from the KC Star spoke with us for a moment and added that he would be following the race for the first 10 miles or so on the water. I smiled and asked, "Canoe or kayak?" He said, "Power boat." I said, "Cheater." Scott Mansker and Russ Payzant (organizers of the event) gave a quick safety talk and soon after we placed our kayak into the familiar water of the Kaw. Goodbye Kaw, hello The Big Muddy. The horn blew at 8:00 a.m. and we were off to complete 340 miles in our kayak in 4.5 days. Kayaks and canoes made their way to the Missouri River. People from the ramp cheered, a helicopter flew along for a while and there were lots of hellos and smiles among the competitors. West Hansen flew out of the Kaw like a bat out of hell. That was the last we saw of him and a few other male soloists. Russ Payzant led the group from up ahead and Scott Mansker followed and checked in with everyone on the water in his Kaw Warrior boat. About a quarter mile down from the Kaw there was a big pipe dumping what looked and smelled like sewage; a reminder as to how some consider a river a good dump spot. We saw the big cityscape up ahead, went under a number of bridges and maneuvered our way through the unsettled water until we were out in the open heat. The temp for the day was around 100 degrees with a heat index of 107. It was hot. We had a quick ramming by Don Wilkison when he tried to cross in front of us but didn't make it. It was a pretty solid hit, but we all laughed. His dog, Trex was his partner. What a sweet dog. Dawn Keller came our way and chatted with us for a bit. She said our paddling looked good and that she liked our hats. She asked where we planned to stop for the night and we said Waverly (mile 293), though we didn't know if we had enough light to get there. She was very encouraging and seemed tough as nails. The first stop that some teams made was at La Benite (mile 352). We saw up ahead that our ground crew, my mom and Larry, were there as well as Jonathan and Cale! We didn't stop, but we waved a lot. We passed through an area called Jackass Bend, and you can be sure we had a good time laughing it up there. Fort Osage was our first stop at mile 337. Mom and Larry met us there, we had chicken salad in pita and peed in the parking lot between car doors. We weren't going to waste time walking to the restrooms that were supposedly up the hill. Edie and I put on our Bubba Teeth and some folks took pictures of us. That was really funny.  The girls bust out their Bubba Teeth to greet fans at Ft. Osage. Edie and I later entertained ourselves on the river by singing and joking around. The heat was pretty severe and we were sopping. Sometime this afternoon, Edie saw something swim by our kayak. All I saw was the big ripples that something made after it surfaced. It was an alligator. It was 2-3 feet long. Edie saw it all and reacted in a way that scared me without even knowing what happened. We talked about it for a while and she remembered hearing some stories in the news lately that people were freeing their pet alligators into the ponds and lakes in the Kansas City area. Could this have been someones pet? We decided we'd be extra careful not to dump our boat. We also figured people wouldn't believe us. I think our next stop was Lexington at mile 317. We actually went to a real bathroom, put on more sunscreen and noticed that Operation Breakthrough was doing the same. Operation Breakthrough was one of our fellow tandem teams that we were competing against. Travis Worley and John Munger look like muscle machines. Their canoe was decked out with stickers and a DVD player. We watched to see them leave and took off ourselves soon after. By dark we were still paddling our way to make camp in Waverly at mile 293. Scott escorted a number of us in the dark. We had our required night gear; flashlights, glow sticks and the freaky flares. This was the second time Edie and I had ever been in the kayak on water at night. Scott helped shine a light here and there and stayed near until we made it to Waverly. I think it was 10:30 p.m. or so until we got there. A nice man from town helped Edie and I pull the kayak up out of the water. Ten minutes later a thunderstorm blew in. We hung out with our ground crew, Scott and the Swaffords (another tandem team) in a covered picnic area until it passed. The Swafford's tent was demolished, and we soon heard that Dawn Keller was stranded on a rock just passed Waverly. Some big waves threw her onto part of a dike. She was hurt and didn't think her kayak would float. There were also two male soloists not accounted for. Don Wilkison and his dog had been in the storm as well. The Swaffords offered us venison jerky and an "adult beverage". We accepted the jerky but declined on the other. We couldn't imagine drinking in our state. The Swaffords are a great canoe team. They are toughies. Mix that with the fact that they were smoking and drinking and you can imagine how we thought they must be hard core folks. They were really nice, as well as their ground crew, "Dave the River Slave". They decided to quit the race that night. We wished we could have hung out more with them. We got our camp set up, cooked some cheesy brats, helped Scott empty water from his boat before he set out to check on Dawn, took a "shower" in a bathroom sink in the park and made it into the tent. 8/03/06 We slept from maybe 1:00 a.m. until before 4:00 a.m. Our tent was sitting a short distance from a bend in the train tracks. A bright light appeared in our tent at 3:00 a.m. or so and I thought it was car lights from our ground crew. Must be 5:00 a.m. already! I looked out the tent and saw three white lights pointed in our direction. Train lights! I was so tired I forgot we were camped by the tracks. I gasped, the horn blew and Edie rose straight up saying "What is it?" with a little smile on her face still half asleep. I yelled, "Train!" Our tent shook and we then noticed the rain was back. A stream of water was running in through the top of our tent right onto Edie's legs. The stream was about 1/4" wide and was making a nice pool in our tent. I don't remember if it ever stopped. The rest of the tent let in a mist of water. We spent the next hour wet and huddled by the opening waiting for it to pass. 5:00 a.m. came and our ground crew showed up. We fixed Thai soy burger patties, bagels with cream cheese and chai. I was unable to finish half of my breakfast and was feeling sick to my stomach. I had lost my appetite completely. We made a plan that we would next meet our ground crew at the end of the day for camp at Stump Island at mile 233. Operation Breakthrough left their air conditioned tent and looked a lot more refreshed than we felt. They got in the water a half an hour before we did. The morning was cloudy, cool and there was low fog on the river. The teams were strung out along the river and we spent much of the morning alone. The scenery was beautiful. We were able to take a shortcut around Hill's Island at mile 282. The current wasn't as strong, but we decided it was a route that for the distance was as fast or faster than the main channel, so we went for it. When we popped out the other side we saw Ben Morgan behind us. We chatted with him for a while. We were really impressed by Ben. Ben was born in Wichita and lives in Virginia with his wife Cheryl and their two girls, Chelsea and Sydney. A week or so before the race he got his kayak (I think from EBay). He had never been kayaking before the race, but had watched a kayaking video. He was doing a great job and we liked talking to him a lot. Scott came our way that morning and said that Dawn was ok. He and Dawn had camped at Hill's Island after checking that her kayak was in good condition. She was beat up a bit but going forward. He had also contacted those that he was unable to reach in the storm. Everyone was accounted for. A.W Paris and John Burkhead, one of our fellow tandem teams, had decided to quit the race. We had only spoken with them a bit after the race started, but they seemed like they were really having a good time. We realized that now our only division competitors were Travis and John of Operation Breakthrough. They were downstream probably 5 miles and we needed to catch up. Our first stop for the day was in Miami at mile 263. Edie and I quickly ate tuna salad and crackers all the while watching the actions of Travis and John as they met with their ground crew at the same stop. Cheryl, Ben's wife, read us the KC Star article about the race, told us about the USA Today story and one of their sweet daughters took our trash bag for us and offered trail mix. We had caught up with Travis and John and were holding our position. Our goal was to follow them the entire day by no less than a few hundred feet and never pass them. We were like donuts on cops. We wanted them to know we were able to match them. Our speed ranged from 5 mph to 15 mph throughout the day. The current of the Missouri runs at 3-7 mph. Scott checked in with us that afternoon. According to Scott, Travis and John had been looking behind their canoe all day noticing that we maintained a close, stalking distance. Scott said they were paranoid. Our plan was working. That afternoon we saw a man in a canoe traveling at a quick speed and had found that his name was Rufus and he had spent 36 days on the river. He left North Dakota and was headed for the Gulf with a highway map. We were really impressed. He was probably our age and had a big black beard to show for his river time. Edie and I decided to slow down our last 10 miles of the day before arriving at Stump Island in Glasgow, mile 227. We wanted Travis and John to think we got tired. Coming in to Glasgow there was a big banner along the back of a riverfront restaurant that said "Welcome Racers". That was so cool. Glasgow from the river looks like a really sweet town. It sits up on a hill and all the brick buildings are visible. At the Glasgow ramp we officially met Rufus who was going to be staying in Glasgow for the night as well. We put our tent up near the boat ramp under a street light and behind the bathrooms in the park. We had a wonderfully cold and free shower in the park and changed into dry clothes. Ben asked if we'd like to join him along with Travis and John on a little 10 mile night trip to Lisbon Bottoms at mile 218-ish. We declined and said we would be spending the night in Glasgow. We had no intention of spending all night in Glasgow since he had just informed us of the plan Travis and John had, but we didn't want them to see us as a threat that night. Did Travis and John know that Ben asked us to come along? No matter, we had a plan. The tent was up and we were settled. Travis, on his way down the boat ramp gave one last look at our camp. Edie and I told our ground crew we would not be spending the entire night in Glasgow. They would need to take our camp down in the morning. We planned on leaving Glasgow at 3:30 a.m. and travel in the dark past Lisbon Bottoms where "the boys" would be sleeping. We would later meet our ground crew at Franklin Island to drop off our night gear. We got our breakfast food and night gear ready. 8/04/06 It was hard for me to get to sleep. Once I closed my eyes I was rocking on water. We slept a few hours. When I woke I felt like I had been given a Botox treatment. My bottom lip felt ridiculously swollen. It was blistered. I loaded the kayak and Edie made English muffins with jelly and cream cheese. I still couldn't eat much. We left with chai to take along (yum). It was chilly and there was no moon. We got to mile 223 when we saw something eerie. We thought at first it was a gigantic swarm of bees (ok, not rational, but we hadn't slept much). The blackness came in and we realized it was in fact not thousands of bees. It was fog. The fog was so thick we couldn't see anything, so we found an edge and tied off to a big rock on a dike and waited. We discussed strategy and joked around. By 5:00 a.m. the fog was thicker than ever, but there was at least light. Instead of a black swarm of deadly bees we now had a white cloud that covered the air above and all around us. We had 10-15 feet of visibility. Could we still make it to Lisbon Bottoms before the boys left? We decided it didn't matter, we were still getting there early. If we didn't make the surprise pass, we would still be close. We were feeling pretty confident so we took off in the fog. I don't advise this to anyone, unless your reward on the other side is worth it, like for instance a cheese enchilada. Traveling in the fog with wing dikes here and there is pretty hairy. We could only see 10-15 feet and then there was the issue of current. We knew that we had to plan just right in order to avoid seeing rocks of a dike before it was too late to stop. So, we drifted to a crossing marker and went for it. We took off for the other side of the river at what we hoped was something like a 45 degree angle. We knew there would be dikes in front of us if we didn't cross because the channel was moving to the outside of the next curve. We made it across and when we saw the other side of the river there was also another sign marking the end of the crossing. We did it. From here we followed the bank and went for the next crossing down the way. It worked again. The fog had lifted to just being on the surface of the water by the time we arrived at Lisbon Bottoms. It was after 6:00 a.m. and we were sure we missed our chance to pass Travis and John. They were probably already on their way. We knew of two possible shortcuts to take between Lisbon Bottoms and Jameson Island. The first option was dammed up with logs and whatnot. So we went the long way. As we passed through Lisbon Bottoms we saw Scott getting ready to take off in his boat. We check in with him and he told us that Travis, John and Ben took off about an hour prior. They had all camped together. The good news for us was that they barely slept for being cold all night and they were tired. The bad news for us was that since my mom had told Scott at some point about our stealth plan, he passed the info on to Travis and John. It was Scott's job to keep everyone updated on location of all competitors. We had to check in at least every 12 hours to give a mile marker update. So, you can bet I told mom to hush it after that! Since Travis and John knew of our failed plan we knew they were aware of how bad we wanted to beat them. Scott said that their comment was that they hoped we got caught in the fog. Yes, did we ever. Through the Lisbon Bottoms and Jameson Island area we got to see some wildlife early in the morning. We saw shrews, two raccoons, deer, what we think were weasels, turtles and turkeys. It's a beautiful area as well. This stretch of the journey became particularly difficult for me. I was lacking sleep and was trying my hardest not to fall over and sleep. I ate, drank, got out to walk on some rocks, but nothing helped. We did the best we could. Along this area there was still some fog trying to lift, and it was here that we saw something amazing. 6-8 feet columns of fog about 6" in diameter twisted up from the water like mini tornadoes. There were over a dozen all around us. When we passed close to one, we could see the movement of the fog within the column and it was surreal. Edie reached out with her paddle and sliced through one and it took a few inches out of the middle, but the top and bottom parts kept spinning. Unbelievable. We had planned to meet our ground crew at Franklin Island, mile 195. That was another 15 miles. The shortcut at Jameson Island was also blocked. Oh well, sometimes it pays to go the long way. At Franklin Island we dropped off night gear and picked up some Sonic burgers and tots from our ground crew. We did drop off our supply of water and Gatorade. We thought it would be better to grab drinks here and there than to carry almost 3 gallons of liquid weight. The next planned stop was 10 miles away at Taylor's Landing, mile 185.  Christina and Edie head in to shore for some shade and supplies at Taylor's Landing.
(Photo by Pat Salsberry) Taylor's Landing is located in an area where there are huge bluffs along the east side of the river. The Katy Trail, like most places along the river, travels through this area. I think it would be a beautiful place to check out on land as well. There are also some petroglyphs to be seen on some of these rocks, though none of them visible to us on the water. The bluffs are gorgeous. Little caves and niches, swallow nests holes and all sorts of interesting shapes can be seen in the rocks. Scott was near with his boat and he led us through an area that was best considering a barge was coming upstream. It was loaded with sand. We then went on to the boat ramp where we met our ground crew. We got more drink, the camera and took a break in the shade. Scott went downstream to check on someone else. We left Taylor's Landing and had only been on the water for about a mile when we encountered our next barge, or a barge of sorts. It was a huge sand dredging station being pushed upstream. Attached to the front was some kind of huge arrangement of pipes and I don't know what, but it looked like part of the pumping or pouring equipment mixed with a wrecked plane. It was a little piratey. Towing along side was a boat. We saw it in time to tie off on some rocks and let it pass. The wakes on these can be hazardous and we were new to them. It was ok, we needed a potty break anyway. But then some boats came along. One driver was driving like a maniac and I don't know how the man on the tube behind survived the sport. After this one passed, we went ahead and got back on the water. Then the next boat with a skier came along with the same reckless driving technique. Edie called it River Rage. These folks slowed us down. We were having trouble finding the space and time to cross when we needed to. We were getting a little down and annoyed. We talked about being hungry and Edie said in frustration, "I want something hot, juicy and dripping off my chin!" Somewhere near Eagle Bluffs I lost it. I felt like I was about to pass out. I was slipping. We got by some rocks in the shade and Edie held on to a rock while I had my moment. I cried, got freaked out, we talked. I got over it. Soon after I ate some jerky (that's sure to cure about anything) and we saw Scott approaching from the South. We told him we were frustrated with being held back by the traffic and that I was dead tired. He told us that if we could make it to Cooper's Landing he'd feed us Thai and we'd be able to listen to some music, hang out. Hell yeah! We had about 10 miles to go. Those were 10 long miles. Edie's motivation came from the idea that there may be a shower. Let me say that Scott is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. He is fair, caring, extremely supportive, has a great attitude, is hilarious and knows every detail of the Missouri River (as well as other rivers I am sure). He always had positive things to say and was always an inspiration to Edie and I. He loves to travel at night on the river and showed us the ins and outs of navigating through the dark. We learned so much from him in the few days we were able to get to know him, and we're forever grateful. We love you, Scott! We made it to Cooper's Landing at mile 170 just before sunset. As we got near the boat ramp we saw a boat with painted palm trees loaded with so many people I was sure they'd sink it. Someone saw our kayak and soon the whole bunch were cheering, waving and screaming. It was great for us to hear, even if they may have been drunk. We came in to the boat ramp and some nice folks greeted us there. Scott talked with the owner of Cooper's Landing and was able to snag us a free shower in their personal bathroom. Rock! That shower was well needed. We then ate. Mom and Larry had also met us there. We all had BBQ ribs with cucumber salad and jasmine rice. It was all amazing. Edie finally got that juicy, hot, chin dripping food! Cooper's Landing is a neat place. I think it's along the Katy Trail also. It's a convenience store/camping area and all around fun place. There was live music that was great and a huge bonfire that everyone sat around. The Thai food was sold out of a little trailer--the kind you see at carnivals. I could have stayed there for weeks. We were feeling pretty good at this point. Edie and I then decided to take off and make it to Noren at mile 144. This was our goal for the end of the day, but since we were behind, we hadn't yet made it. So, that was our night goal. We had about 26 miles to go. We planned to make a quick nap stop on a sandbar before Noren and catch an hour of sleep. Our ground crew was going to be staying in Jefferson City and we let them know that we'd call in the morning with our next planned stop point.  Cooper's Landing for a quick shower, dinner and then we push off into the darkness. The night was clear, the water was calm and we had a moon for most of it. The stars reflected in the water and I think this was the first night that we encountered bats. They flew right in front of our faces and all around. That sonar really works. They were beautiful. At some point in the night we asked Scott if he had any updates on Operation Breakthrough and he said that they were to be staying in a hotel in Jefferson City and leaving from the Noren ramp at 5:00 a.m. So, we saw the opportunity to try another stealth pass. If we could make it to Noren before 5:00 a.m., we might be able to get ahead of them. We knew that they'd eventually catch up with us, but the shock value of them coming up on us had to be worth something. 8/5/06 We made it to the sandbar somewhere around mile 154 where we unloaded a few things for a nap. Scott, Edie and I went to sleep listening to the coyotes. I still had the rocking sensation as I tried to fall asleep, and I had some freaky visions of red faces morphing from one to another. I couldn't make them stop. After that I saw some of the most amazing designs and rotating geometric objects, though I have since forgotten what they were. I finally fell asleep. About 45 minute into the nap I ended up using the emergency Mylar blanket we packed. It was so cold. Those blankets are so loud. I felt bad for pulling that thing out, but I needed it. Crunch, crunch. 15 minutes later we were ready to go. Edie and I went on in the dark and Scott stayed back to take a warm bath in the Missouri. We approached the Noren ramp which is located in Jefferson City right under the north side of a big bridge. It was 5:00 a.m. We saw headlights and people moving by the ramp. It was Travis, John and Ben. We had to be as sneaky as possible to get around them and not alert them to speed up. They were still unloading and we figured they would be leaving shortly but not right away. We would have more time to go as fast as we could ahead of them. We took the glow sticks off our boat and quietly made it to the south side of the river. We were exactly opposite of the ramp and their lights were aimed just downstream. We went under the bridge behind a south piling and once we were out, we hauled ass. To our right was the Jefferson City capital building lit in amber lights overlooking the water. It was a powerful sight. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as we looked back at the ramp, so we hoped we had gotten away with our pass. We had less than an hour before the sky would start lightening up. We were exhausted. We knew we couldn't do too much to stay ahead, let alone awake. We made less than 10 miles in an hour to a place where the river turns enough for there to be a visual block. We were hoping we could make that distance before the sun came up so that they wouldn't see our paddles moving on the wide open area in front of them. We made it just as the sun lit everything up on the water, but we still felt hopeful. Sometime soon after we saw kayak paddles behind us. It was Ben. He had broken off from Travis and John and was headed our way. Edie and I decided we needed to be extra careful in paddling in unison so that once Travis and John saw us, they might think that we were Dawn or someone else up ahead with one paddle and not have a reason to speed up yet. Ben got close enough to see us and smiled. He asked something about how we had made it ahead of the three of them and we told him. He laughed and we all had a good chuckle. He also said that he thought we were Dawn. Good! Before too long, we saw Operation Breakthrough and they seemed to speed up quickly. That was it, they saw us. Then, they held their distance for a while. About 2 hours after the sneaky pass they caught up with us. I said, "Hey, guys!" They seemed less than impressed with our presence. Travis asked, "Did you paddle all night?" We tried to look as fresh as possible and said, "No, just got up early." Soon after they went on ahead of us. I made a call to our ground crew and asked that they meet us at Mokane, mile 125. We needed to drop off night gear and get breakfast. We were starving and still had a good hour to go. Once at Mokane we ate bagels with cream cheese, apples and loaded up on more soy chai. The next 5 miles were aggravating. A big wind picked up and the expected speed of it was to be 15 mph, plus it was coming from the east. What the? It slowed us down to a point where we had to look to the trees to judge if we were still moving. Talk about a downer when you're already dead tired. Scott checked in with us and said we should all stop and take a nap break. We weren't getting anywhere and none of us had much sleep behind us. We agreed and met him later at Chamois at mile 118. We hauled our butts up the ramp and napped under a big Cottonwood tree. The leaves clapped and we were all out. Before our hour was up we heard a faint, distant voice saying, "Are ya'll thirsty? Ya want something to drink? We have these for you." We woke up and a woman was handing us a Coke, an orange Gatorade and a small Styrofoam plate of square cookies with a 75 cent sticker on the wrapped cellophane. We said thanks and she said, "We looked over here before and thought you were bags of trash." She also asked if we were hot with pants on. She went on her way and we laughed at the trash comment. Edie then decided to change her title from River Rat to River Trash. Scott later said the cookies weren't worth 75 cents. The next 25 miles were hard. It was windy, hot and we took on what had become our normal tired state. Scott gave us one of his walkie talkies and kept in touch with us here and there. He helped us from falling asleep and kept us entertained so we weren't cussing. What a life saver. He even went so far as to show us a trick he came up with. He said, "Watch this. It's better than t.v." Across the river, Scott gunned his boat in a circle around the slow waters behind a dike. We didn't see anything. He did it again. Out of the water jumped Asian Carp, some going as high as his head behind the boat he was standing in. Slap, they hit the water. They were 2 or more feet long. We laughed our heads off and said, "Introducing Scott and his magic Asian Carp!" I think I sang that circus theme song and we laughed until we cried. That was awesome. Edie said, "He must be bored." I said, "At least he's creative!" Somewhere along this stretch we had a half an hour nap break as well. We met our ground crew at Hermann Riverfront Park at mile 98. They had a picnic ready for us. Subway sandwiches, apples, grapes, cashews, jerky, snack mix and ice water. We hit the jackpot! Scott met his parents at the park and we all had a great lunch in the shade on an actual table. The night gear was then loaded up and we left Hermann before sunset. About 5 miles up the river there was a big spot light showing along the edge of the water. It was dark and Scott went to check it out. He later said it was a barge coming around the corner. We pulled ourselves onto the sand that happened to be there and waited it out. We later went on. We had the bats again and enjoyed them. We asked if Scott had any info on the status of Travis and John. He said that he was told they were in Washington, only less than 20 miles away. He also said that they might be stopping there for the night. Why? They'd never be able to finish the race if they did. We all needed to be another 10 or so miles down from there in order to make it Sunday. Edie and I liked the idea of catching up with them, hanging out and going across the finish as two teams who worked hard. Travis asked Scott to ask us what our night plan was and that he didn't want any sneaking night passing going on. I told Scott that our plan was to go as long as we could and take naps when necessary. Scott called Travis back with that info. Edie and I didn't believe they were going to stay in Washington. It didn't make sense. Since Travis didn't tell Scott exactly where he was, Edie and I decided to make our way as fast as we could to find out for ourselves. 8/7/06 We made it to Washington, mile 68, in the wee hours of the morning. A little before the highway 47 bridge, Edie started to lose it. She was smashing into sleep every so many seconds and then waking startled a moment later. It was miserable for her. Both of us were really worried. She was really struggling. I told her to stop paddling and hang on. I called Scott and asked if he knew of a nearby sandbar to nap on. He said that there should be one close. From way up ahead I could see the faint back light on his boat. I followed it. Soon I couldn't feel my paddle. It was weightless and I had no idea if I was still holding it unless I looked down at it. I was starting to slip myself. I told Edie and we made our best effort to paddle as fast as we could. Scott called back and said he was having trouble finding sand. He added that he was having trouble keeping his eyes open. I said we were coming as fast as we could so we could follow. Oh, crap, we were all so tired. Edie and I finally caught up and we all cruised with the lights looking for some sand. After finding some around mile 65, we walked through the mud and slept. It was one of the most comfortable places to sleep I had ever experienced. We spent just over an hour sleeping. We all woke before sunrise. It was cold and we were soon to be facing the sun. We had about 6 hours to make it to the end of the race. Where were Travis and John? Who cares, we just needed to finish before falling off the kayak. We were worn out. We made it to somewhere near mile 55 when Scott called to tell us that our ground crew wanted to give us something special at our last possible ramp stop at Weldon Spring, mile 48. He asked what we wanted and we decided on a Frappuccino or a McDonald's French Vanilla cappuccino. Our ground crew met us and handed off the Frappucinos. Yum, we just might make it now. Somewhere about 10-15 miles before the finish we found that Travis and John were about to end finish the race. Darn, we didn't catch up. But we were still happy to have the realization that we would finish. Russ Payzant met us along the last 5 miles to escort us with his boat. Scott did his circus act with the carp and we slowly but surely made it to the end at the Lewis and Clark Boathouse in St. Charles. There were people at the ramp waving and cheering. It was a relieving sight. We pulled the kayak around, got out with our unsteady legs and got hugs. Whoever carried that kayak up and out of the water, we thank you! I don't remember it happening, but someone thought enough to keep it from leaving the ramp. Mom, Larry, Ben and his family, Dawn Keller, Scott and his wife Cristi, Scott's parents, Russ Payzant and others I have forgotten were all there to greet us. We had pictures taken, got our medals and had a big sigh of relief. It didn't seem right that we were off the water for good.  Medal ceremony under the tent in St. Charles.  Sportin' the hardware  Check the guns on these girls. A bunch of us stood and talked for a while. Soon after, Jonathan drove up with Cale. Jonathan had to go in to work a bit Sunday morning, so he left to pick us up as soon as he could. I was surprised he was able to get away from Lawrence as soon as he did. I waved at Cale when I saw him, but it took him a bit to realize it was mommy! He later said I looked different. I thought it may have been my hat, but Jonathan said I looked hardened. Hee! As a side note, I thought I'd add the list of songs Edie and I sang along the river: Proud Mary, Tina and Ike version Moon River Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel Staying Power by Queen We Are The Champions by Queen Paradise City by Guns and Roses The Rambler by Kenny Rogers Row, Row, Row Your Boat Whip Appeal by Babyface Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy by Big and Rich Mercedes Benz by Janice Joplin Pony by Ginuwine Rock The Boat by Hues Corporation Give It Up or Let Me Go by Dixie Chicks Goodbye, Earl by Dixie Chicks East Bound and Down by Jerry Reed TNT by AC/DC Where I Come From by Alan Jackson And these are the slogans we came up with for the Missouri River: The Missouri River Has a Lot of Balls Apart from the obvious meaning behind this one, it does have a double meaning. We saw so many balls on the river. They were almost all the trash we saw! Why? Isn't that odd? We saw baseballs, soccer balls, kick balls, racket balls, tennis balls and volley balls. We never saw a football, though. And we decided that there had to be a bowling ball under all that water somewhere. The Missouri River: RAW Imagine that the RAW is in that t.v. wrestling font that looks like a tiger claw ripped through something. We have no idea why we came up with this, but I bet we were sleepy when we did. We also have a couple infomercial spoof scripts we wrote. I'll get those written up and posted later. Here is a hint: One is called Shake and Bake for Dead Bloat and the other is called Bridge Piling Removal. One of our favorite quotes said on the river made by Edie was, "Everyone looks athletic. We look like hot dogs out here." We both laughed at this again tonight until we couldn't speak. Thanks to everyone for making this such a memorable experience. This race was the most difficult thing we have ever done in our lives. See you all next year, but hopefully sooner! --Christina cglauner (at) gmail.com Return to Roster |
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