Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register
rivermiles.com kcpaddler.comepic kayaks and paddles PaddleOneMissouri American WaterMissouri River Relief Lewis and Clark Boathouse and Nature Center Warrior Ant Press Olathe Ford Lincoln Mercuryprojectathena.org340.0 Stickersmr340 shirtDents UnlimitedSt. Louis Sail and Paddle2013 Stickers
Home Help Search Login Register
 
(Moderators: Scott Mansker, Barbara)
‹ Previous Topic | Next Topic ›
Pages: 1 2 3 
Send Topic Print
Training (Read 3572 times)
Reply #20 - 02/03/12 at 13:41:18

agottman   Offline
MR340 Veteran

Posts: 208
 *
 
Los Humungos just dropped the hammer!  KaaaBooom!  We have an official challenge.

However, I don't think DEVO suits are humiliating enough.  I like DEVO.  If I could dress like DEVO everyday I would.

Losing the challenge should result in humiliating (but funny) repercussions.  Just my opinion.
 
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #21 - 02/03/12 at 14:32:23

Paddle-Up   Offline
Future Participant
Dedicated to those who,
"Serve & Protect."!
Riverside, MO

Posts: 98
 *
 
Maybe the looser should change outfits with the winner.   Roll Eyes
 
Terry:  I guess the stars means I am a 2-Time wanna-be.  Wink
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #22 - 02/03/12 at 14:52:33

Krebel   Offline
Future Participant
Saint Clair MO

Posts: 23
 *
 
LOL Grin
 
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #23 - 02/03/12 at 15:32:26

SkiBumJoe   Offline
2X MR340 Veteran
Race Volunteer
Kawnivore Veteran
Ballwin, MO

Posts: 312
 **
 
LOL

Like!
 
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #24 - 02/03/12 at 21:53:17

Dmon   Offline
MR340 Veteran
Kawlloween Veteran
Ground Crew Veteran
Elsah, IL

Posts: 100
 *
 
Los Humungos wrote on 02/03/12 at 11:00:31:
Dmon wrote on 02/02/12 at 08:39:51:
I, for one, have been dictating to my admin my banter for posting here, as I am constantly working out and have no time for such frivolous things.

That said if she were to, say, post something like 'I'm gonna destroy you all in my debut at this years 340'
I may or may not be held accountable for such words as it may or may not in fact be me writing.

That said...BRING IT FOOLS!!! Ahhhhhhhhaaaaaahaaaaahaaaaaaaa!!!! Grin Grin Grin


Dmon, you clearly have no respect for this forum and this race.  There is a certain level of reverence and decorum that is kept round here.  For example, take my posts.  Always on point, always serious, and always appreciated by the millions of readers that come to the forum.  In fact I am not sure why Scott has not booted you yet.

It is with this in mind I have thought that I must take matters into my own hands.  A CHALLENGE!!! The fastest person to ski down the K12 gets the girl and makes the ski team.  No, strike that, wrong challenge...

I will be your old man.    

Lets race!  First person to reach St.Charles is the winner.  And just to give you a sporting chance (because I know you are thinking, "I can not possibly compete with him"), I will spot you 5 hours... nah 10 hours... no, still too little... I will spot you a half a day.  That is 12 full hours.  The winner will have the lowest cumulative time (me = my time plus 12 hours vs. you = your actual time).

You... I mean the loser of this challenge, must assist at least 5 people out of their canoe at the finish line while dressed like a member of the music group Devo.

Do you have enough fortitude to accept this challenge?  Bwoooooohahaha!

Hut,
Mastodontico
Los Humungos Paddleos  


Respect?  I have noticed with, I will admit, a certain amount of reverence, the seriousness and professionalism in your posts. I have also noticed your cavalier smugness and the overarching Luchadoredness in your writings.

I have held my tongue...until now.

No longer can I sit idly by whilst you harangue the masses with your wretched ballads de Awesomeness. No Longer I say!  

I say to you sir! I will be respected as I help YOU out of your canoe, after I have showered and caught up on a few hours of sleep and some food.
Make no mistake Mastodontico, nosotros estamos cabrones tambien!

Team Meat Bats will make you cry, as though you've been beaten like you owe us money!

I accept your silly little challenge and it will be my pleasure to see your pain.

To the top of K12!
« Last Edit: 02/04/12 at 10:55:48 by Dmon »  
You experience your thought.
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #25 - 02/06/12 at 10:05:47

Los Humungos   Offline
2X MR340 Veteran
Sometimes wears a Wally
Werderich costume

Posts: 1152
 **
 
Dmon
I can see by your posts that you obviously do not know who I am.
*I am feared in multiple countries
*i am equipped with the most expensive canoe in the race
*People know me when they see me
*Barges fear me
*I single handedly stopped West Hansen from wearing skirts
*I will be reckoned with!
My name is Bill Lanning.  Look me up at the start of the 340 so we can confirm the humiliation.
 
Sometimes when you are man, you wear stretchy pants...its for fun... -Nacho   
You do not get guns like these from riding a bike. -Matt Strieb
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #26 - 02/06/12 at 10:26:47

-redacted-   Offline
MR340 Veteran
Kawlloween Veteran
Columbia, MO

Posts: 26
 *
 
Wait just one minute here. West stopped wearing skirts?  That's like Superman ceasing to wear his cape. Now who will I idolize?
This is cause for some serious introspection, and mourning.
 
Every normal man must be tempted at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #27 - 02/06/12 at 14:13:05

Dmon   Offline
MR340 Veteran
Kawlloween Veteran
Ground Crew Veteran
Elsah, IL

Posts: 100
 *
 
"Dmon
I can see by your posts that you obviously do not know who I am.
*I am feared in multiple countries
*i am equipped with the most expensive canoe in the race
*People know me when they see me
*Barges fear me
*I single handedly stopped West Hansen from wearing skirts
*I will be reckoned with!
My name is Bill Lanning.  Look me up at the start of the 340 so we can confirm the humiliation."

Mastodontico, I shall address each of your claims below, and laugh in the face of danger!

*No need to fear other countries, only me.
*I, too, once thought I could buy speed and ability.
*...might have something to do with the cape?
*I heard about that incident. Boarding barges and streaking while screaming like an angry Arab woman will do that...
*I saw him once...he was skirt-less...ya got me there.
*I reckon you will be wiping the sweat from my brow after I help you from your boat in St Charles!
 
You experience your thought.
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #28 - 02/06/12 at 14:18:45

agottman   Offline
MR340 Veteran

Posts: 208
 *
 
I can't imagine not wearing a skirt.  It keeps my boys aired out.
 
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #29 - 02/06/12 at 14:25:59

Paddle-Up   Offline
Future Participant
Dedicated to those who,
"Serve & Protect."!
Riverside, MO

Posts: 98
 *
 
Are you Scottish?   Smiley
 
Terry:  I guess the stars means I am a 2-Time wanna-be.  Wink
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #30 - 02/06/12 at 15:12:43

Los Humungos   Offline
2X MR340 Veteran
Sometimes wears a Wally
Werderich costume

Posts: 1152
 **
 
Los Humungos wrote on 02/06/12 at 10:05:47:
Dmon
I can see by your posts that you obviously do not know who I am.
*I am feared in multiple countries
*i am equipped with the most expensive canoe in the race
*People know me when they see me
*Barges fear me
*I single handedly stopped West Hansen from wearing skirts
*I will be reckoned with!
My name is Bill Lanning.  Look me up at the start of the 340 so we can confirm the humiliation.


Wait a second! My acccount was clearly hacked.  You can easily tell because everyone knows that I have asked West many times to keep his skirt on.
 
Sometimes when you are man, you wear stretchy pants...its for fun... -Nacho   
You do not get guns like these from riding a bike. -Matt Strieb
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #31 - 02/06/12 at 15:37:02

Los Humungos   Offline
2X MR340 Veteran
Sometimes wears a Wally
Werderich costume

Posts: 1152
 **
 
I am Mastodontico.  My list of accomplishments is long.
*i took second place in the Oprah Winfrey card board boat regatta for wrestlers.
*i was voted most likely not to drown (in the "while wearing a PFD category")by the editors and fans of Liuchador Paddler magazine.
*i once turned Tom Brady down when he asked me out on a date.
*i taught Aaron Rodgers how to do the Discount Doublecheck move.
*Hulk Hogan stopped paddling when he saw how big my pythons are.
*Los Humungos Paddleos does not have an answering machine, instead, Selina Gomez has volunteered to to tend our phones 24/7
*That most interesting man guy from those Dos Equies commercials asked me to teach him how to paddle after he got an inferiority complex about me.
*The only creature on Earth that scares me is Mrs. Mastodontico
*My total earnings from prize money in canoeing in races totals over $23.41.
*My name rhymes with Nastadontico

Need I say more?  And it is too late to pull out of this bet.  Vegas has already began setting odds.  They were at 100 to one, but that was because they thought I gave you 12 metric hours.  When they found out it was twelve lunar hours, they increased it to 1000 to one.

Bwooooooohahaha!!!

Hut,
Mastodontico
Los Humungos Paddleos
 
Sometimes when you are man, you wear stretchy pants...its for fun... -Nacho   
You do not get guns like these from riding a bike. -Matt Strieb
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #32 - 02/06/12 at 16:11:56

Paddle-Up   Offline
Future Participant
Dedicated to those who,
"Serve & Protect."!
Riverside, MO

Posts: 98
 *
 
It is obvious that my literary skills are no match for this forum.
I am simply overwhelmed by the oratorical capabilities brought forth by these  masters.

Humbly your's:  "Paddle-Up"

Of course after all this, maybe it should be "Paddle-Down"

Cry
 
Terry:  I guess the stars means I am a 2-Time wanna-be.  Wink
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #33 - 02/06/12 at 18:41:05

Joewildlife   Offline
2X MR340 Veteran
Ground Crew Veteran
Gritty Fitty Veteran
Kawnivore Veteran
Jackson MO

Posts: 507
 **
 
Speakin' of old men, of which I consider myself firmly one of,

and my paddling enemy is not necessarily young guys, but young guys with abs, whom I call "flat bellies".  As opposed to my round belly.

I do take extreme pleasure in beating flat bellies to the finish.  I heard somewhere along the line, something like this:

"Age and treachery will win out over youth and exhuberance every time".

My creed.

Or is it the young bull and the old bull?  The young bull is full of energy and wants to run down the hill to the pasture with all the hot cows and get him one...  The Old Bull says "calm down, lets just saunter down there and take our time and get 'em ALL"

I dunno.  I'm just stupidly proud of my signature below.  You gotta hurry.  No, wait a minute.  That conflicts with the old bull/young bull thing.  No...wait.      I'm an old bull who knows how to hurry, but not sleep afterwards.  That is it!!!!   You gotta hurry but not sleep!

It all works out.  Young bull is fast but he sleeps.  Old bull knows how to hurry and get it done right but doesn't sleep.  He gets it all.  He keeps going. He doesn't roll over and sleep at Lexington, Waverly, Miami........

It is funny the piss and vinegar the rookies bring to this.  Love it.  I was he, not too long ago.  Now I'm just old and treacherous.

Joe



 
And I ain't too old to hurry
Cause I ain't too old to die
But I sure am hard to beat
Ride on
AC/DC, Ride On
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #34 - 02/06/12 at 18:46:41

Paddle-Up   Offline
Future Participant
Dedicated to those who,
"Serve & Protect."!
Riverside, MO

Posts: 98
 *
 
Joewildlife wrote on 02/06/12 at 18:41:05:
Speakin' of old men, of which I consider myself firmly one of,

and my paddling enemy is not necessarily young guys, but young guys with abs, whom I call "flat bellies".  As opposed to my round belly.

I do take extreme pleasure in beating flat bellies to the finish.  I heard somewhere along the line, something like this:

"Age and treachery will win out over youth and exhuberance every time".

My creed.

Or is it the young bull and the old bull?  The young bull is full of energy and wants to run down the hill to the pasture with all the hot cows and get him one...  The Old Bull says "calm down, lets just saunter down there and take our time and get 'em ALL"

I dunno.  I'm just stupidly proud of my signature below.  You gotta hurry.  No, wait a minute.  That conflicts with the old bull/young bull thing.  No...wait.      I'm an old bull who knows how to hurry, but not sleep afterwards.  That is it!!!!   You gotta hurry but not sleep!

It all works out.  Young bull is fast but he sleeps.  Old bull knows how to hurry and get it done right but doesn't sleep.  He gets it all.  He keeps going. He doesn't roll over and sleep at Lexington, Waverly, Miami........

It is funny the piss and vinegar the rookies bring to this.  Love it.  I was he, not too long ago.  Now I'm just old and treacherous.

Joe






Well Joe;
I can tell , we must meet.  I know where most of your quotes came from.  I have even used some of them myself.  This is  my first canoing experience.  I am 60 years old.  Short of an injury, I know I will finish before some others.  Slow and steady.  Take care.
 
Terry:  I guess the stars means I am a 2-Time wanna-be.  Wink
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #35 - 02/06/12 at 18:59:10

Los Humungos   Offline
2X MR340 Veteran
Sometimes wears a Wally
Werderich costume

Posts: 1152
 **
 
Bwoooooooohahahaha!!!

Hut!
 
Humongos2smaller.jpg (35 KB | )
Humongos2smaller.jpg
Sometimes when you are man, you wear stretchy pants...its for fun... -Nacho   
You do not get guns like these from riding a bike. -Matt Strieb
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #36 - 02/06/12 at 19:24:52

jimmiethejet   Offline
MR340 Veteran

Posts: 361
 *
 
In my other life I am a outdoor guide.  I am among other things a raft guide.  When we teach people about how to use a T-grip so they don't end up with summer teeth ( sumer in and sumer out).  I always demonstrate the technique shown by the bow paddler for Los Humongous.  I tell people I use to live in Missouri and we could always tell beginner boaters when they used the chicken choker.   Be afraid, all you chickens, be very afraid,  Los Humongous needs to get a grip.  Wink


Cluck!
« Last Edit: 02/07/12 at 13:41:47 by jimmiethejet »  
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #37 - 02/06/12 at 21:21:49

Joewildlife   Offline
2X MR340 Veteran
Ground Crew Veteran
Gritty Fitty Veteran
Kawnivore Veteran
Jackson MO

Posts: 507
 **
 
And my tatoo on my left shoulder is cooler than his.... Grin Grin Grin

Glad I'm not racing tandem though!

Not racing this year...ground crewing.  Easy for me to poke fun when I don't have to put up.

Joe
 
And I ain't too old to hurry
Cause I ain't too old to die
But I sure am hard to beat
Ride on
AC/DC, Ride On
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #38 - 02/07/12 at 09:07:24

Los Humungos   Offline
2X MR340 Veteran
Sometimes wears a Wally
Werderich costume

Posts: 1152
 **
 
Flat bellys?  Ha ha ha... I mean Bwoooohahaha!!!

Hut!
 
loshumungosre4.jpg (24 KB | )
loshumungosre4.jpg
Sometimes when you are man, you wear stretchy pants...its for fun... -Nacho   
You do not get guns like these from riding a bike. -Matt Strieb
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Reply #39 - 02/07/12 at 13:40:23

agottman   Offline
MR340 Veteran

Posts: 208
 *
 
Be careful...that boat is gonna sink!  Get in the front, Bandito, to balance that thing out!

No, I'm not Irish.  I'm German.  I just like skirts because they keep my boys aired out.
 
Back to top 
IP Logged
 
Pages: 1 2 3 
Send Topic Print
‹ Previous Topic | Next Topic ›

Rivermiles Forum » Powered by YaBB 2.5 AE!
YaBB Forum Software © 2000-2010. All Rights Reserved.