Dmon,

I like your moxie!  You have spunk.  

But late on the second evening you'll be thinking what the hell did I get myself into?

Around that time, an old man in a canoe will paddle up next you, calmly say, "Hello, my friend.  Keep up the good work," and then he'll take off down the river without breaking a sweat.  He'll look as if he's barely paddling and he may be whistling a tune because he's having a fantastic time.  

You'll try to keep up with the old man, but you'll be exhausted and your effort to keep pace will be futile.  He'll get further and further away and then about a quarter of a mile ahead of you, he'll disappear around the river bend.  You'll never see him again.  You may cuss and throw a tantrum.  You'll blame yourself for being unprepared and you'll regret not training harder, but in reality you'll fail to realize that you're unable to keep pace with the old man because your boat isn't as nice as his boat and your paddling technique isn't as polished as his.

This is when you'll either get extremely frustrated that an old man just kicked your ass or you'll accept your place in the middle of the pack.

This race will mess with your head.  Your goals may change a few times throughout the race.  However, I encourage you to keep your moxie.  Moxie may be the difference between DNF and crossing the finish line.

Good luck.   

-Papa Chubb

Don't listen to the old man who resurrects techie jokes from the 90's Dmon. (yeah, I saw that ID10T cheap shot joke on the other thread agottman)  The guys above may have some truth to what they say, but the first year I did this race my friend and I did it in an old 36" wide 16' long heavy fiberglass canoe.  We spent too much time out of the boat.  Our technique was mediocre.  But we didn't stop. We finished in a very respectable 67.5 hours, I think 13th in men's tandem that year.  We beat a lot of old men in fast boats that passed us on day one because we didn't sleep. 
Granted, after the most grueling 3 day race of my life I vowed not to do it again until I could afford a faster boat, but make no mistake, this race is about 75% training and tenacity. If you stay in the boat and sleep as little as possible you will do well.  If you do some destroying in your debut race, good for you.  And you just might.

I want to be the old man in the boat.....



Modified for clarification

Sorry, that wasn't intended to be quite so serious sounding.  It was just meant to be a friendly jab.  But we can be arch nemeses if you want.  Even if you can't win you should always have at least one person in the race you just HAVE to beat.

We all aspire to be the old man.

Nick

Salty,

I know!  I didn't take you seriously.  I just like to jib jab.  But, I agree that everyone should have an arch-nemesis during the race.  WAY more fun that way!  Are you going solo or are you on a team?  

Unfortunately, I won't be in the 2012 race.  I wish I could but I made a deal with the devil (ie. my wife - I love her) promising her that I wouldn't do the race in 2012 if she let me take 4 days of vacation in 2011 to do the race.  That's a deal that I had to make.

However, I could use an arch-nemesis during the Louisiana Tour du Teche bayou race this coming October.  I'm able to do that race because it's on a weekend and she'll get to party in New Orleans afterward.  I'm doing the first day (50 + miles).

Think about it, Salty.  I'd like to beat you!    

Wink...that was a good natured jab. 

Interesting test of fortitude, "staring at a glass of water for two hours without taking your eyes off the glass"  ...however, as an experienced and ageing paddler, I would like to point out that the real test of this nature, should be to spend that two hours staring at a tall, full, sweating glass of Guinness  ...the same sort of image you experience the second afternoon, enduring the 105* temperature and accompaning humidity, as you ply the stretch of the Muddy Mo, just before reaching the confluence of the Osage  ...young paddlers will always be able to endure this two hour fortitudonal gauge leaving the seasoned waterman well abaft in their wake  ...you see,our bladder is more pourous than that of the youngsters and we are must pump bilge several times during that two hour period of intense observation!

 ...personally, I would just quaff the Guiness and then during the early-hour darkness on the river, draft a youthful paddler as he/she provide much welcome assistance while we traverse a long seemingly straight stretch, cut cross-river picking out the shore marker, then as the next bend adds some additional propulsion, pass with an almost effortless ease  ... I will do my utmost to enquire of them if they are experiencing änother rough day in the office??!"

Bill / Waimanu  

I'll have to ask my fiancee about the tour du Teche.  I doubt she'll want to do 2 3-day races in one year, but it sounds amazing.  You may have to take Flottman up on his challenge for this year though. 
-Nick

I remember chasing Ned (White Rock Navy) in the 2010 MR340. He IS the old man from the story. Ned is a great paddler.

                                                                                                                          Brian (Team Guts and Glory)

Dmon wrote on 02/02/12 at 08:39:51:


Dmon, you clearly have no respect for this forum and this race.  There is a certain level of reverence and decorum that is kept round here.  For example, take my posts.  Always on point, always serious, and always appreciated by the millions of readers that come to the forum.  In fact I am not sure why Scott has not booted you yet.

It is with this in mind I have thought that I must take matters into my own hands.  A CHALLENGE!!! The fastest person to ski down the K12 gets the girl and makes the ski team.  No, strike that, wrong challenge...

I will be your old man.    

Lets race!  First person to reach St.Charles is the winner.  And just to give you a sporting chance (because I know you are thinking, "I can not possibly compete with him"), I will spot you 5 hours... nah 10 hours... no, still too little... I will spot you a half a day.  That is 12 full hours.  The winner will have the lowest cumulative time (me = my time plus 12 hours vs. you = your actual time).

You... I mean the loser of this challenge, must assist at least 5 people out of their canoe at the finish line while dressed like a member of the music group Devo.

Do you have enough fortitude to accept this challenge?  Bwoooooohahaha!

Hut,
Mastodontico
Los Humungos Paddleos  

OHHHH - - This is turning into a fun time already.
Love it.